Into the Darkness [becoming to Noel Ko-zuki Part2]

Hello! How’s you days doing?
I’m Noel Ko-zuki.

In this article, I’m talking about when I was in a junior high school.

This part is very important for my life.  This name “Noel Ko-zuki” created at that time.


If you want to read backnunber of this article series, please click below link card.






Well, let’s start to talking about the origin of this name…

When I was in junior high school, I thought that I must have a pen name as a writer.  I had been thought what’s the good name…


One day, I found a notebook in my home.
That notebook was a my mother’s.  Mother has used that to think my name when she was a pregnant.

I was interested in it.  I started to checking…
There were several candidates for names.  Leon, Lenon, Reina and so on.
And in that there was “Noel”.

I got a inspiration!
My pen name is Noel!

After that, I came to know that “Noel” means “christmas” in French and “birth of christ” in Latin.

My family name “Ko-zuki ” is conpletely my original.
Ko-zuki derived from “Royal Moon” in Japanese.  At that time, I loved a animation character.  So I wanted to use a name that would be relevant to that character.





Birth of Noel Ko-zuki was a good part of my junior high school life.
But in other aspects, I was a depressed human…

I was serious since I was in elementary school, I bought antipathy by boys who was making a noise.
I respected myself because I keep a school regulation. And I moved with only my own circumstances.
Looking back now, it is nothing more than a way of living rooted in separation. It is a opposite of spiritual.  I can’t beleive my past!

My hardest thing was when I was 15 years old.
I wanted to enter Sendai Daisan High School, but my exam score was always bad.
Could I enter there?  I was filled with anxiety.

I wanted to enroll in the high school by all means, so I did terrible thing to drive myself to study.  That’s it, to prohibit my hobby at all.

Writing a novel, brawing picture, reading, palying a game…

All I can did was only study until I enter my wished high school.


Let’s say first the conclusion. What was waiting me was melancholic.
As narrowed my horizons, I got into an illusion that I had to keep studying forever.I was irritated in a trivial thing.

If I can’t enter my wish high school…
When I can write my novels?



More the worce, I had a mad view of religion and thought God is a bad guy.
I believed that a destiny is exist and God is managing the destiny of everyone.
My life is already stipulated until detail.

If so, there is nothing change whether I stydy of not.
Would any effort become waste?

I could not get out of that idea.
And one day, I noticed.
If I die, will it be okay?



→Continue to Part3!

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