Before the Dark [Becoming to Noel Ko-zuki]

Hello!  How’s your days doing?
I’m Noel Ko-zuki.


I’m talking here about “How I started as Noel Ko-zuki”.
In the first article, let’s start from my childhood story…


If you want to read Japanese edition of this article, click the bottom link card!




I was born in Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture in Japan.
When I was 4 years-old, I moved in Republic of Panama because of my father’s job.
I lived there for 3 years until I was 6.

Official language in Panama is spanish.
I could speak spanish, but I forfot it.
Now me can just talk about “interesting spanish words”.


I am experiencing living in a foreign country at an impressive time, so memories of childhood are clearer than others.



First I memory is, about my parents.
Parents has strong influence for child.
I can’t release my anger to my parents yet.

My father sighs when he is in a bad mood.


Especially, I was so painful when the dinner.
I have some dislike foods.  If I say “I dislike this.”, my father sighed.

And I take time to eat.  If I continue to chewing (It is said that it is a healthy diet method to swallow after chewing more than 30 times), my father said that
“You dislike this because take a long time to eat.  I’ll put it away.”.
But, to say so, I make effort to “eat hurry” and try to faster, I couldn’t shallow down foods.  It stayed in the eyes of my father, I signed by him again…

What should I’ve done !?

Well, I couldn’t say so because I was scary of my father’s sigh.  Only I could do to be quiet.


More the worce, my mother also had been minded my father’s sign.
Children are observing their parents very closely. It’s true.
If their mother lived with fear to their father, children will also fear to him.
My mother was perfectionist, and thought that “Housekeeping is what women have to do perfectly”.
It is because I also think same thing.
(If you feel unpleasant to read this, I’m so sorry.  I’m training to release this anger now.)


In addition, what I noticed since I grew further,
My father also has a dislike foods(Just because my mother did not give it out),
my father can’t clean up his room although he said to me that “Clean up your room!”.
and he also has a bad manners in dinner!

Don’t rell me so greatness!
If you want to tell me something, you should first acquire good manners!
…When I notice these unreasonable things, I got so angry.

I who was grown up in environment like that, might was spreading lower energy.
In kindergarten, I was out of college from Japanese friends.
After we came back Japan, I behaved greatness in school because I want to feel strong at least outside of my house.
But I noticed that I couldn’t treated as greatness by my friends, and this action were not like me.

It was my good point that noticed earlier and correct my mistake I guess.



And when I was 11 years old, I thought that I want to be a writer.
The trigger was that event that my mother gave me a novel as a Christmas present.
That novel was written by my mother.  My mother wanted to be a writer when she was a student!

I also like writing storyies, but my mother’s novels was more wonderful.
She used Microsoft Word to write a story.  I felt that using type prints was very cool.



After fun and painful school life, I started dark age of my junior high chool…



to be continued to Part2!

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